While this is being distributed as a joke (thanks, Ron!) everything alleged in this note is absolutely TRUE.

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a cit izen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges t hroughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

Hurry up! The forms are going fast! Sign up today!!

Now I think I’ve heard it all! Many of you who have read my blog for a while know what I think of the global warming scare - it’s just that: a scare. There’s loads of scientific data to back that position. The sad thing is that those who began the global warming scare are abandoning it now because it’s been taken over by people who try to shape political policy via scare tactics (the far left). In other words: “If you don’t stop [some activity that everyone does], global warming will continue.” or “You need to reduce your carbon footprint.” or some other kind of nonsense. Listen, when Ed Begley, Jr. says something like this, I will take it more seriously than when Al Gore says it; at least Ed Begley, Jr. is LIVING his decision and not just telling others how to live.

Anyway, I came across an article first on Hot Air, later on other blogs and news aggregates that is pretty…… well…… you decide. It seems that global warming is the cause for…… you guessed it…… kidney stones. Well at least that’s what Science Daily, US Department of Health and Human Services, and a host of newspapers and news services are saying. They tell us there will be an increase of kidney stone surgeries by the year 2050. Heck, we can’t even predict next week’s weather and they’re telling us something that will happen 40 years from now? AND they expect us to BELIEVE what they tell us?

I can’t believe this. The Daily Iowan (the University of Iowa’s daily newspaper) is all worried about the environmental aftereffects of the flood. What a load of BS! Environmental aftereffects!? What ever did we do before there were environmentalists to cry about natural disasters? Really, people! Floods have happened for millions of years to the Mississippi valley in the Iowa/Illinois area and it has led to some of the most fertile soil in the world. Then in the past century or so, man has come along and put up levees, dams and other structures to prevent flooding. So the hundreds of centuries before the past century was all damage and loss of phosphorus? Really? And the Mississippi valley has had poor topsoil until then? Really? Let’s keep our eyes on the ball here, people. We need to get the thousands of displaced families taken care of. We need to clean up the downtown area of Cedar Rapids (Iowa’s second largest city at about 125,000). We need to reconstruct many of the roads that were washed away in the flood. Heck, we need to find out where the small town of Oakville (population 438) is - we have heard it was last sighted about 40 miles downstream from where it was originally located. We have an entire “laundry list” of items to tend to before we worry about the phosphorus in the topsoil. Of course, they don’t call it “The People’s Republic of Iowa City” for nothing. It’s a “beehive” of political correctness, misguided leadership and lack of common sense.

I’m certain everyone has heard Barack Obama’s message of hope and change. Well, here’s something to think about that I got from Ron. It’s supposed to be funny, but to me it’s a bit frightening.

A little over 2 years ago:

• Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high
• Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon
• The unemployment rate was 4.5%

In 2006, we were told a lot of things by the media and by the politicians running for office that may or may not have been true - as it usually goes with the media and especially with politicians running for office! Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006, we’ve seen:

• Consumer confidence plummet
• The cost of regular gasoline soar to over $3 a gallon
• Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase)
• American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses)
• Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars
• 1% of American homes are in foreclosure

America voted for change in 2006, and we GOT it!
The most significant accomplishment by the Democratic Congress in 2007?