I’ve been mulling over this post for about a week now, so here goes.

You know, it’s really kind of sad. Our entire country, heck – most of the world, mourned the loss of Steve Jobs. I’m not really going to go into what kind of person Steve Jobs was here, but let’s not speak ill of the dead just yet and say he was an egomaniac who drove at least as many bright minds away from Apple as he drew to Apple. More on that in another post. Yes, he was a visionary. Yes, he was a great marketer (how else can you get people to buy overpriced hardware?). But he had little to no technical knowledge.

What’s really sad is that only a few in the computer industry mourned the passing of one of the true giants in the computer field Dennis Ritchie. I know, I know… you’re asking “Who the heck is Dennis Ritchie?” Dennis is truly a superstar in the computer field. He is the father of Unix and the C programming language. Not in the sense that Steve Jobs is the father of Apple, but in the sense that he CREATED Unix and he CREATED the C programming language.

So now you’re saying, “So what? Did he bring us all the gadgets that Steve Jobs did?” The answer to that is “No, he didn’t bring us the gadgets. He brought us what makes the gadgets work.” Apples two main operating systems are Mac OS X (on their computers) and iOS (on their handheld devices and tablets). Both are derivatives of Unix. Without Unix, Steve Jobs wouldn’t have been able to leave Apple and creat NeXT. For those of you who conveniently forgot, Steve Jobs was driven out of Apple for his chaotic managerial style. Much of NeXT has been integrated into OS X. And the original Mac OS? Written from the ground up in…. you guessed it… C. Much of Microsoft‘s own software was originally written in C. C and it’s derivative languages are the most popular programming languages out there.

So without Dennis Ritchie and his monumental creations, Steve Jobs (and many other so-called computer wiz-kids) wouldn’t have been able to get out of their parent’s basements. Well, in Steve Jobs’ case it would have been Steve Wozniak who did all the work to get them both out of Jobs’ parents’ living room. Jobs has always had very little to offer in technical knowledge. It has been said that his contribution to the original Apple computer was “Beige plastic… make the case beige plastic”. He was the “front man” for Apple.

But without Dennis Ritchie, none of the gadgets we have today would have been possible. They ALL use either a Unix derivative for their operating system or have used C or one if its derivatives to make them work. Here’s to Dennis Ritchie. A true giant of the computer industry.

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Now playing: Evan Olson – Not What I Wanted
via FoxyTunes

I installed OpenSuse 11.4 on my main desktop computer Saturday. Here is a breakdown of the installation and the result.

The installation was fairly easy. First, I backed up all my important data to my home server. That took a couple of hours. Then I rebooted, inserted the OpenSuse DVD and ran the install. Pretty painless. It asked me a few questions: time zone, how much hard drive to use (all of it, of course!), language, etc. Pretty much what any OS install asks (even Windows). Then the install took about 30 minutes or so. After a reboot all was ready to use. Now, for the customization.

Didn’t have to customize my Logitech wireless keyboard or mouse. Both were recognized during the install. Even the media buttons on the keyboard worked as they should. No driver CD, either! My monitor, a ViewSonic VA2012wb 20″ widescreen, was also detected and configured properly. Also the network was detected and installed so I was able to connect to the internet immediately after rebooting. AWESOME!

The sound wasn’t working at first, but after changing the default sound to the Azalia sound card, everything worked fine.

Next, I added in the repositories that I use on my laptop. For you Windows folk, a repository is where you get your software. No need to go to some random web site and download a file (that could carry a virus) and then run a setup. Just add the repository and it will show up in Yast – Suse’s version of the Control Panel. To add the repositories, simply go into Yast Software Repositories.

Also, I had to configure my two printers, an HP LaserJet 4050 and a Canon PIXMA MP160. The laserjet was easy. It’s a network printer, so I told the Yast Printer app what the IP address of the printer is and then told it what kind of printer it is. No driver CD like Windows (although it is built in to Windows 7). After a few seconds, I successfully printed a nice test page.

The Canon is a multifunction unit, a scanner/copier/printer, and took a bit more. The printer was easy as it is attached USB. No driver CD like all versions of Windows need. I told the Yast Printer app to search the USB ports. It found the printer and detected what model and asked if I wanted to install that driver. Simple. A few seconds later I had a color test page printed. Then I tried to add the scanner. I was told to add the SANE library in Yast Software Management. That took about 10 minutes. Then I scanned a photo and a text page successfully. Wow. It took me a couple of hours of struggling with the driver CD in Windows to get a good scan out of it.

To add software you simply search for it by name (or by function or by… well lots of tags to search by) in Yast Software Management. Then you mark a checkbox, click “Accept” and wait for Yast to do its thing. Dependencies (the Windows equivalents are DLL’s, OCX’s, etc.) are checked and added if needed. The hardest part of all this is getting out of the Windows mindset that you have to go to some web site and download a setup file.

I spent Sunday choosing what apps to install beyond the typical. Finished up tonight. For those of you who don’t know, OpenSuse, like all other Linux distributions, offers literally thousands of applications to choose from for installation. Oh, I also installed one of the Widgets on the desktop, specifically, the Weather Widget. Now I can see the current weather conditions and the thee day forecast.

• I went with Zimbra Desktop for the email/contacts/calendar client. It’s by Yahoo so I don’t have to pay for a Yahoo Plus mail account to get my Yahoo emails. Tried Thunderbird, which I used in Windows, but Zimbra Desktop is much more complete. I could have gone with Evolution or Kontact but they didn’t have any way to access my Yahoo account.
• I went with QmmP for the music player. It’s a no-brainer for me. It accepts Winamp skins, playlists and presets, so it’s now looking like the familiar Winamp and playing songs just as well.
• I went with Cairo Dock for the docking app. I used Object Dock in Windows and it was OK, but tended to take up a lot of resources. Cairo Dock has all the same abilities as Object Dock and then some. Plus there are LOTS of tweaks and configurations that are changeable.
• Other apps that are installed by default are:
  • LibreOffice, a Microsoft Office replacement that includes Write (MS Word replacement), Calc (MS Excel replacement), Impress (MS Powerpoint replacement), and Base (MS Access replacement)
  • Firefox of course! (I am a Firefox affiliate)
  • Gimp, a Photoshop clone, although not as many features as Photoshop
  • Audacity, an audio editor. I use this to edit out downloaded music that has dead space at the beginning and end of the file
  • VLC, a video player – it plays pretty much any video file
  • Kate, an advanced text editor to use when I work on coding
  • k3b to burn CD’s and DVD’s
• A host of other programs that are installed by default.

And now, the end result is this desktop (of course, by default you have four different desktops in OpenSuse):

Tech Support: Do you have any windows open right now?
Customer: Are you crazy? It’s twenty below outside!

Tech Support: What seems to be the problem?
Customer: A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse it disappears.

Tech Support: What does the screen say now?
Customer: It says “Hit ENTER when ready.”
Tech Support: Well?
Customer: How do I know when it’s ready?

Customer: The instructions say to press any key to continue.
Tech Support: OK.
Customer: Where’s the “any” key?

Tech Support: Hello, Tech Support.
Customer: Do I have to buy stamps to send e-mail?

Customer: There’s no power going to my computer! I want this FIXED NOW!
Tech Support: Hmmm. The power switch set to “on”, correct?
Customer: Power switch? Ummmm Well, looky there!

Tech Support: Tell me, is the cursor still there?
Customer: No, I’m alone right now.

Customer: I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.
Tech Support: Did you install the update?
Customer: No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?

Customer: I would like to place an order.
Tech Support: Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site.
Customer: Web site?
Tech Support: You need access to a computer that’s connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order.
Customer: Where is the computer?

Tech Support: What seems to be the problem?
Customer: When I change my font sizes, the letters change size.

AND FINALLY!!!!

Customer: I have Windows on this computer.
Tech Support: OK.
Customer: And the computer isn’t working.
Tech Support: You already said that…

That’s right. 20 days until OpenSuse 11.4 hits the Internet. And this time, I’m doing it. I’m dropping Windows on my desktop computer and moving to OpenSuse. I’ve been running OpenSuse 11.3 on my laptop for quite a while now and it’s been great! No lockups, **VERY** fast response to programs.

I’ve had Windows XP on my desktop computer for a while. Yeah, it’s OK for stable – I have to reboot it pretty much once a week – and it does run some nice programs, but I have NO pirated software on it. I paid for Windows (a long time ago) and have no other retail software on it unless you count Nero software that was included with a hardware purchase of a DVD drive. Other than that, I have not paid for any software – it’s all been open source or freeware.

I use OpenOffice, now called LibreOffice, for my office suite (word processor, spreadsheet, database, presentations, drawing). While is may not cut the mustard in a corporate setting (because power users are quite demanding even of the Microsoft Office suite), it is quite capable for home use. It’s not a full blown MS Office copy, but rather somewhere between Microsoft Office and Microsoft Works (closer to Office than Works).

I use FileZilla for FTP. I use IrfanView to view photos and do quick manipulations. I use The GIMP for more effects on photos and creating textures for my blog. I use Audacity to edit and manipulate sound files (WAV, MP3, etc.). Use CDBurnerXP to burn CDs and DVDs. I use Inkscape to create and edit vector graphics. I use Winamp to listen to music. I use Firefox to browse the web. I use Thunderbird for email along with the Lightening plugin for calendaring (although I’m getting more partial to Zimbra at least in Windows). And I use PSPad to do web development like editing PHP files and CSS files.

When I make the move to OpenSuse, I’ll still be able to use LibreOffice, FileZilla, The GIMP, Audacity, Inkscape, Firefox and Thunderbird. But I probably won’t use Thunderbird. I’ll switch to either the Zimbra desktop or to Evolution. Also, instead of PSPad, I’ll use Kate. And instead of CDBurnerXP I’ll use k3b. And I’ll also use Songbird to listen to music instead of Winamp. Pretty much what I do now on my laptop.

Oh, I’ll still have a copy of Windows if I need it but I’ll be running it in VirtualBox. So I can still fire up Windows if I need to but chances are I won’t need to. Anyway…… 20 days!

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Now playing: Halestorm – I Get Off
via FoxyTunes

I missed it! Happy Birthday to my blog! Eight years ago on November 5th, I typed my first entry into my blog. Wow! Eight years!

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Now playing: Saving Abel – Drowning (Face Down)
via FoxyTunes

I got a pretty cool calendar from my daughter for Christmas last year. It’s titled “365 of the Stupidest Things Ever Said”; you get a really dumb quote each day on the day that was uttered, or in some cases printed. Some of the funny ones so far this year have been:

• AAA Says Record Gas Price Predictions May or May Not Come True
• Temperature tomorrow is expected to reach triple digits or higher.
• Bush Stays Firm; Congress Votes for Pullout
• There is no prostitution in China. However, we do have some women who make love for money.
• I’ve been in 57 states, I think – one left to go. (one of my favorite dumb quotes – look it up to see who said it)

But all in all today’s takes the trophy. I guess since I do work with computers it might be funnier for me, but I think anyone who actually uses a computer for ANYTHING will at least smile at this!

I don’t watch much network TV. It’s usually movies and sports for me. I do watch the occasional cable TV movie, but most of the movies I watch are on the Showtime or Starz multiplexes or DVDs. I really don’t like watching commercials; not just because I think they are silly but some are just out and out lies.

Speaking of lies, listening to commercials for our local cable TV and Internet provider here is rather interesting. The commercial is a young married couple talking while their laptop computer is running and goes something like this:

Her: Come on, honey, I it’s time to go to the party!
Him: Wait! I’m uploading photos to our web site…
Her: Why don’t we go to our neighbor’s? They have “lightening fast” {provider name} Cable Internet. It’s much faster than our DSL!
Him: Maybe we should switch?

OK. First off, the cable internet provider is the ONLY cable Internet provider in town. It is also only provided here in town. The DSL provider (which I subscribe to) is the ONLY DSL provider in town. It is a major national Internet provider.

Also, I used to subscribe to the cable Internet provider (still do subscribe to their cable TV as they are the only game in town), but now I subscribe to the DSL provider. I left the cable provider for a number of reasons. I was having to reboot my cable modem and my wireless router weekly because for some reason unknown to the cable provider, my cable modem signal would just drop. Also, at the time I used the web space provided by them and asked about using PHP on that web site. The answer I got from all levels of their tech support is “PHP is a security risk and we do not allow it on our web space.” WTF? PHP a security risk? Riiiiiight. Over half of the web pages on the Internet are served up by PHP!

So, I changed to the DSL provider. At the same time I changed my telephone service to the same company. The first thing I noticed was an increase of speed, both downstream and upstream. At that time the cable provider had a 1Mb/256Kb downstream/upstream; the DSL provider had a 1.5Mb/768Kb connection. The cable provider does not offer that package any more. The DSL provider does offer the same package. Difference in price at the time: $39.99 for cable Internet vs. $26.99 for DSL. That’s $13 per month less for faster service!

Fast forward to today. The DSL provider still offers that package for $19.99 now. The cable provider offers a slower connection (512Kb/256Kb) for $21.95. I currently have the next faster DSL package (7Mb/5Mb) for $25 per month. The cable provider has what they call a Turbo package (5Mb/1Mb) for $39.99. The cable provider has a maximum residential package called Mega (10Mb/3Mb) for $59.95; the DSL provider has a maximum residential package (20Mb/5mb) for $45.

So going back to the original beef, how in the heck can the cable internet provider make the claim that their service is in any way, shape or form FASTER than DSL? If they compare their faster service with the DSL basic service? And the cost? Not even close! No thank you, I’ll stick with my reliable, fast DSL service!

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Now playing: Weezer – Pork & Beans
via FoxyTunes

Saw this line in a comment on a tech blog:

By the time most currently existing Windows computers have finished loading the security software, paging is already beating on the [hard] drive like Gallagher on a watermelon.

I know it’s pretty geeky, but it’s also funny (and true!). The entire blog post and its comments can be read by clicking here. The article is about how nearly all typical computer users would do better with Linux than with Windows – and I’d have to agree.

That’s right. It’s finally over. The lawsuit between SCO and Novell. After over seven years of litigation, accusation and discovery it’s over. And Novell won. The U.S. District Court decision delivered on Mar. 30, 2010, the jury confirmed that Novell, not SCO, own Unix‘s copyrights. SCO had made bogus claims that Linux code was in Linux; they made a lot of noise about collecting licensing fees from all Linux users. But since they do not own any of the copyrights to Unix, their claims are baseless and they don’t have the right to charge fees to Linux users.

The main reason, in my opinion, that SCO lost is the tireless efforts of one person: Pamela Jones, affectionately known in the Open Source world as PJ. She runs a website that first showed up on Radio Userland (kind of like a precursor to FaceBook) and now at Ibiblio.org that goes by the name Groklaw. In the words of Carla Schroder of Linux Today:

PJ dug through the mounds of manure and obfuscation and uncovered what was really going on. She analyzed and posted reams of court filings, challenged Darl’s ridiculous claims (which should have aroused skepticism in anyone with an ounce of sense), and inspired hordes of volunteers to attend court sessions, transcribe grotty PDF transcripts, and do additional research. She preserved archives of SCO’s own online documents which later disappeared, or were changed. She also inspired a number of journalists to go beyond the sound bites and do some digging of their own. Groklaw awakened an interest in the law in a lot of its followers, and gave a fascinating inside look into how the law works.

She did all this despite ongoing harassment and threats. That takes bravery, and not many people would have persisted. Thank you PJ, what you have achieved with Groklaw is a very big deal. We owe you a lot.

Darl, referred to in the first paragraph, is Darl McBride, former CEO of SCO who they let go in October of 2009. He is the one who began making outlandish claims of SCO’s ownership of Unix and how all Linux users will have to pay SCO Group license fees for using Linux. Thank God he’s now a blip on the radar screen.

And now I can run OpenSuSE Linux on my laptop without fear of having to pay a license fee to SCO. Open Source forever!

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Now playing: Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl
via FoxyTunes

Hacking Through the Jargon Jungle

I’ve worked in a computer company for the last few years, I’ve gained an insider’s perspective. I’ve decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:

Alpha

Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for “doesn’t work.”

Beta

Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”

Computer

Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger “Duffy” Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf became so enraged at the “Incompatible File Format” error message that he shot himself. The war ended soon after Hitler’s death, and Duffy began working for IBM.

CPU

Central propulsion unit. The CPU is the computer’s engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that’s powered by a running rodenta gerbil if the machine is a 286, a ferret if it’s a 386, a ferret on speed if it’s a 486 and a Tazmanian devil with a scalpel in its scrotum if its a Pentium.

Default Directory

Black hole. Default directory is where all files that you need disappear to.

Error message

Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program’s shortcomings.

File

A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinetexcept when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.

Hardware

Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered.

Help

The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything.

Input/Output

Information is input from the keyboard as intelligible data and output to the printer as unrecognizable junk.

Interim Release

A programmer’s feeble attempt at repentance.

Memory

Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpiest in terms of quantity.

Printer

A joke in poor taste. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Programmers

Computer avengers. Once members of that group of high school nerds who wore tape on their glasses, played Dungeons and Dragons, and memorized Star Trek episodes; now millionaires who create “user-friendly” software to get revenge on whoever gave them noogies.

Reference Manual

Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.

Scheduled Release Date

A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.

User-Friendly

Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer.

Users

Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert:

Novice Users

People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.

Intermediate Users

People who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.

Expert Users

People who break other people’s computers.

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Listening to: Wreckless Eric – Whole Wide World
via FoxyTunes

I was going through some old text files on my computer last night and found a few I’ll be posting over the next few days. Here’s the first one, titled “Computer Industry Related Light Bulb Jokes”:

Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four hundred and seventy-two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle…

Q: How many technical support personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? OK. Now, exactly how dark is it? OK. There could be four or five things wrong… Have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We’ve formed a task-force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many beta testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just noticed the room was dark; we don’t actually fix the problem.

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb into the faucet.

Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem and has assigned you request service number 39,712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue.

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You’re still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you’d have to do is send a light-bulb-change message.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine in my office …

Q: How many shipping department guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m., and pay an extra $15, we can get the light bulb changed overnight.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Steve Ballmer will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.

Q: How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85.00 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider . . .

Q: How many quality assurance techs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, and you’ll need a 48 hour burn-in, two hours of cool down, and a very thorough bench analysis of the new bulb so don’t expect to see either bulb for a week or so.

Q: How many receptionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero, well actually one, the one that tells the office manager about the light bulb problem in the first place.

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Listening to: Smashmouth – Can’t Get Enough Of You Baby
via FoxyTunes

I can’t believe it! I missed it! My blog’s birthday was November 5. I’ve come a long way from the first entry. Anyway….

Happy Birthday, Blog! You are now 7 years old!