May 25, 2012
Happy anniversary, Michael and Carrie!
May 15, 2012
“Who will help me plant my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“Not I,” said the cow.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Not I,” said the pig.
“Not I,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself.” She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.
Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Out of my classification,” said the pig.
“I’d lose my seniority,” said the cow.
“I’d lose my unemployment compensation,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.
“Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the little red hen.
“That would be overtime for me,” said the cow.
“I’d lose my welfare benefits,” said the duck.
“I’m a dropout and never learned how,” said the pig.
“If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen said, “No, I shall eat all five loaves.”
“Excess profits!” cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
“Capitalist leech!” screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
“I demand equal rights!” yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Harry Reid)
And they all painted ‘Unfair!’ picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the farmer (Obama) came He said to the little red hen, “You must not be so greedy.”
“But I earned the bread,” said the little red hen.
“Exactly,” said Barack the farmer. “That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.”
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, “I am grateful, for now I truly understand.”
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the ‘party’ and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. For a while everyone was happy until all the little red hens quit producing. Then there began to be shortages of everything and famine spread across the land.
Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; no one cared so long as there was free bread that the federal reserve was more than happy to loan the government from money created from thin air, for which heavy burdensome taxes were levied on all our labor, goods and services, to pay the bankers, so they could rule the world through debt, thus losing our freedom and liberties.
EPILOGUE
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That’s $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn’t remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?
April 30, 2012
Vacation was EXCELLENT! Again, we went to Cozumel. We stayed at the same resort as we did last year, the Iberostar Cozumel. But this year we were “armed” with our knowledge gained from our experiences last year. It definitely worked to our advantage this year.
On Friday, we drove to Des Moines and stayed with Zach and Jessie instead of getting a Park-Sleep-Fly. Definitely better to stay with them than some hotel! We left after work and got there some time after 8pm. While it wasn’t that late, we were pretty tired from packing and traveling there so we just visited for a bit and then went to bed.
Saturday morning at 5:30am, Jessie and her dad Jim drove us to the Des Moines Airport to begin our journey. No bad weather this time. We flew US Airways this time and the connecting flight was in Charlotte, NC. All in all the flight there was pretty uneventful. We landed at the Cozumel Airport on time and got through customs without any issues. I asked the driver of the van to drop me off at Rentadora ISIS, where I had reserved a rental car for this stay – no scooter this time! The driver dropped me off there and I spoke with Magarita, the owner of Rentadora ISIS. She had the car waiting. Got the car and headed to Iberostar Cozumel, the same resort we stayed with last time. Here, we met with friends Corey and Andrea who had the trek to this resort the day before; they were there with Corey’s parents Ken and Elaine. Basically, the rest of the day was loll around the beach and the pool recuperating from the uneventful trip.
Sunday, Casey and I went to breakfast the the others but we had plans. We went to Punta Sur (South Point), an eco-park on the southern tip of the island. Basically, you go to the Rasta Bar and turn south. The road there was plenty bumpy and going was slow but we did get to the beach. Had a wonderful morning snorkeling. Each time I go back I’m amazed at how clear the water is there; five feet of water looks to be a few inches because of how clear the water is. After a morning of snorkeling, mostly by Casey, we decided it was time to go. On the way back we went by the lighthouse Faro Celarain. We actually went up the 128 steps to the top of the lighthouse and took some amazing pictures there. Leaving the park, we took the “scenic route” around the island instead of going straight back to the resort. Lots of work has been done on the road on the east coast, but it’s still pretty much the same.
Sunday night, the whole group went to the city San Miguel. Casey and I had been told the locals have live bands on the town square by friends Tom and Dawn. They were more than right. The band was very good. There was dancing and a lot of people just hanging out listening to the band and having a good time. We enjoyed that very much. But, as it got later our tiredness got the best of us so we went back to the resort.
Monday, I took Corey and Ken on a “guys day” over to the east side of the island. We stopped at the Rasta Bar and had a beer and visited there. We all agreed that it was a great place to have a beer and watch the waves. Then we went up to Coconuts, a bar farther north. Again a good beer and great view; Coconuts is up on a bluff so you have a great view for miles over the Caribbean. Rough weather came up, though, and soon we were leaving Coconuts due to sand being blown up in our faces. Yuk. The ride back to the resort was uneventful. We spent the rest of the day just hanging around the pool and at the swim-up bar.
Tuesday, Casey and I returned the rental car and did some shopping. Got some really nice silver from a place recommended by Tom and Dawn: Sergio’s. It’s off the beaten path and both Casey and I felt we got a fair price for the stuff we bought. Later, back at the resort, we spent the rest of the day reading around the pool and swimming in the pool (and going to the swim-up bar!) and just taking it easy.
Wednesday and Thursday were pretty much carbon copies of each other. We did a bit of snorkeling and laying around the beach in the morning, and a bit of swimming (well, maybe wading) in the pool and going to the swim-up bar in the afternoon. Evenings we got the group together and played cards after we ate; of course, making sure we all had drinks!
Friday we were up and packing early. After packing, we had plenty of time to get to the airport. The flight home was uneventful. The only bad part was customs in Charlotte. I think the Marx Brothers created that mess. The lines were long and not fast-moving and the officials there seemed to always create another zig-zag lane making it seem like we were moving but all we were doing was walking down the newly formed lane and not really making headway. Finally, though, we got through customs. We ate in the airport there and then boarded our plane to Des Moines. Uneventful trip there as well.
All in all a GREAT vacation filled with sun, sand, water and good friends. Couldn’t ask for more!
Happy anniversary Doug and Susan!
March 28, 2012
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter… This is a herd of sheep… Now give me back my dog.”
Happy birthday, Doug!
March 21, 2012
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son, “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been Studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”
The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
(You’re going to love the Dad’s reply!)
“Did you also notice that they walked everywhere they went?”
March 14, 2012
Happy birthday, Casey!
You are my life, my heart, my one true love, my soul mate. I thank God each day for the blessing he has granted me in you.
